Lessons I have learned

James 4:10 states “humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you.” I had a humbling experience this past week. Through the Bible, God and others, I learned that I am not in control of anything and I can’t make anybody do anything. But, let’s stop and think for a minute. God is in control of everything and He has power over everything and everyone. So often, I sit and ponder how I can help people change and influence people to change and in reality, make people change. My mind goes over and over what to say to someone when I think they need a change in their habits or attitudes or actions. I think about the lessons I could teach in ladies’ classes or teen classes that would press their heart to change. As I am pondering everyone else’s problems and how to change them, I am getting angrier and angrier. Their actions are causing resentment and bitterness in my heart. Now I know all about only focusing on what I can control. Focusing on other peoples’ faults will not do any good or make that person any better. The only thing I am creating is a bitter heart for myself.

So what did I learn this week? What is it I can change to help others change? Let us remember that God is in control, so the answer is prayer. What can I control? I can control my prayer life. I can pray more often, for more people, for more situations. When someone aggravates me and pushes me to make them want to change, I can pray for that person. God can change that person, in his own way and in his own timing. I might be a part of that change or it might be someone else he uses to influence them. Or, God can simply use his word to change their heart, desires, and actions. God can also change my heart and help me have a more gentle and soft attitude. I learned this week that I am not in control, but God is in control and he can change people through many different avenues.

To put this into practice, a situation came up the other night. A woman from church wanted to talk to me about some problems she was having with her teenage daughter. Her daughter has been drinking and popping pills and dealing with depression. Based on what I know about their family, I think the daughter needs more structure and discipline. I also think her parents need to be more united and be better examples of God’s word. I gave her the advice of starting to read the Bible and pray every day with her daughter so her daughter knows that the void she is feeling can only be filled by God. Her mother needs to be the example of how a Christian should live. I also told her I would be praying for her family. But, I am not just going to pray that the teenage girl finds the answers she is looking for and stops turning to substances. I am going to pray that God would work through this family to change their lifestyle, their dynamics, and the way they love each other. I am going to pray that God would work through me or someone else to influence them positively. I am going to pray for the right words to say when this woman wants to talk about this situation again. Most of all, I am going to pray for patience with this family as they seek a change.